It’s impressive. Parents and observers often marvel at the level of independence of children in Montessori classrooms, noticing how little direction children seem to need as the accomplish their tasks. These comments are often followed up with, “My child would never do this at home!”
Maybe not, but… maybe!
Small changes can make a big difference in your life and your child’s life. Start with one thing. Maria Montessori developed her philosophy and materials through careful observation and trial and error. Tweak little things in your home as you transition to a more “Montessori.”
Make it a “Yes space”
No one, especially not a young child seeking independence, wants to be told, “No!” all day. Everyone feels better and interacts better when all those negative comments go away. Now, this does not mean we should never say, “No,” to our children or never discipline; we merely want the child’s main spaces to feel like a safe place for your child, where you can spend more time enjoying your child and less time worrying.
What does this look like? I do not think there is a simple answer that will satisfy every family’s needs. Step one I would recommend is basic child proofing (outlet covers, tripping hazards, exposed cords/wires). Step two is OBSERVE. Where is your child drawn to?
Let Routines be the Boss
“It’s time to get dressed.”
“You’re still in your pajamas. You NEED clothes on!”
“WHY are you STILL wearing your PAJAMAS?! We need to leave in five minutes!”
Sound familiar? I’m sure every parent (guilty!) has gone through this at some point. This is where routines can be a huge help. HUGE. When there is no set routine, children don’t know what is coming next. They may feel uncertain, anxious, worried. They may get involved in an activity and have no realization they should be getting dressed.
Routines differ from schedules. Schedules tell us what time we do what. Routines simply tell us in what order things happen. For young children, who do not yet understand time, routines offer predictability.
Try to keep routines simple. For example, our evening routine is dinner, shower, brush teeth, jammies, books (in bed). After we clean up dinner, the kids know they’re heading to the bathroom to shower. There are no questions or arguments about what is happening. I often don’t even need to remind them what to do!
Creating a routine that works for your children and family may take some trial and error, which is ok. Once you figure it out, try to be as strict as possible with the routine, but be flexible with the timing. For example, it’s OK if they spend an extra 15 minutes in the shower today, just move on to the next step. Just make sure the same things happen in the same order and the same way as every day. It’s hard at first, but I promise it will become second nature!
Now that my oldest is 5, she is able to be far more flexible with routines, which is helpful. But on most days, she follows the routine just as much as my toddler.
Accessibility & Child Sized Furniture
Montessorians advocate giving children as much independence as we can. In a Montessori classroom, you will see small tables and chairs, low shelves, and low counters for food prep. We recognize this is only a dream for many families! In our home, we use a small table and chair set and make sure everything the children need (whether it’s toys or tools) are accessible. They can get their own in and out of bed, their own clothes, reach the bathroom sink and toilet, get their own dishes… basically anything they need. We utilize the low drawers and shelves around the house and have plenty of step stools where needed.
A small shelf in the kitchen, if you have room, can serve as dish/utensil storage and a small food prep area. Some families set up a low table for a Montessori handwashing station next to a child’s potty. Pinterest has a million ideas to help you find what will work best in your home, for your family.
For more information on preparing the space for your child, see my post on the prepared environment.
Organization
“A place for everything, everything in its place.”
Young children are in their sensitive period for order. They take comfort in order. Not to mention, an orderly home makes everything easier for parents, too! Think about things your child needs and uses and make sure it has a designated place; in my home, we refer to item’s places as their “home” and talk about where things “live.”
Open shelves for toys and activities let children see their choices, easily get what they want, and make clean up easier. By the door, we have a shoe rack and some low hooks for jackets. For ease, there are small bins on the shoe rack. Each child has a shoe bin and a hat/glove bin. My youngest also keeps her socks there because she never seems to have socks on when it’s actually time to put shoes on.
Much like routines creating predictability, when children know that certain things are always in certain places, they can independently get the things they need and want.
One of the challenges with organization is helping children remember to actually put things away. As much as young children truly do appreciate organization, it takes a lot of work from adults to make sure it happens. Your role is to model putting things away, help and remind children to put things away when they’re finished, and help clean things up when they are not around (see my post about the “prepared environment” for more info).
So… what next?
Where do you start with all this? How do you do it? There are so many options, it can be hard to know where you should start in your own home. Or maybe you’ve already started doing some of these and are looking for the next step.
Let me know in the comments what is working – and not working – for you!
