Montessori Philosophy - The Montessori Mommy

Montessori Services & For Small Hands – Review

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One of my absolute favorite home Montessori businesses is Montessori Services. As a Montessori teacher, there were so many supplies we would purchase through Montessori Services or For Small Hands to use in our classrooms. While Montessori Services specializes in items for Montessori classrooms, For Small Hands caters to supplies and toys for the home.

Cooking

For Small Hands offers everything you need to help your child be an independent chef at home! In the cooking section, tools are organized into preparing food, baking, serving, snack and lunch, and books. Within each section, you will find items appropriate for different age groups, from toddler to elementary.

Some of my favorites are this wavy chopper, bamboo cutting board, juice pitcher, and sturdy juice glasses. If I were to only buy four items from For Small Hands, these would be it! The chopper and cutting board are perfectly sized “for small hands” and are the perfect intro to basic chopping and food prep.

For snack and meal times, I find the juice pitcher and juice glasses to be essential items. These items are made of glass, which does mean they are breakable. However, I have found the glass to be very sturdy and both the pitcher and glasses have survived small tumbles! Additionally, I prefer glass and ceramic (breakable) over metal and plastic because children really do learn to be more careful.

food preparation — Photo by Daria Obymaha on Pexels.com

Cleaning

While I will not get into the many benefits of children doing chores in this post, will give you a link to find exactly what you need to help your child do a little housework! For Small Hands has a great section for cleaning tools for your child. While there are many options, I will highlight my three favorite cleaning tools my own children use:

A traditional corn broom. I prefer corn brooms over other types of brooms, so this looks most similar to our adult sized broom. These brooms can be used indoors or out, so they are great when my kids need to sweep the porch as well!

A compact brush and dustpan. I love this brush and dustpan set! The handle fits nicely in a child’s hands and it is just the right size for sweeping up small messes. Additionally, I have found the handle on the size of the brush is easier for children to use than the handle on top of the brush (such as this: Whisk broom and dust pan).

Finally, a window washing kit. I don’t know about your children, but mine love to wash windows! Sometimes I think their hand prints are intentional, just so they can wash the windows again. This set comes with everything your child needs to make windows sparkling clean: a spray bottle, cleaning cloths, a squeegee, and a handy caddy to carry it all in. Properly used, your child will not need any more than water in the squirt bottle to clean windows!

Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA on Pexels.com

Toys!

Of course, children have toys. While I try to limit the amount of toys that enter our home and be intentional with what toys we do have, it can be hard to prevent a doting relative from generously giving children toys. I try to be proactive and let family members know how much I appreciate their kindness, and then steer them in a direction everyone can be happy with.

For Small Hands has many, many toys and activities to choose from! Everything offered has some kind of educational benefit, is a quality item, and sure to be enjoyed by your child. There are simple stacking and sorting activities for toddlers, constructing activities for elementary students, gross motor activities for children of all ages, and everything in between.

As a bonus, I have found that grandparents have been impressed with the options for toys and games available at For Small Hands, as they offer activities that are both lots of fun and educational.

Final Notes

I have only great things to say about this company. The selection of items is wonderful; it seems no matter what home Montessori items I need I can find it here! They have great items for practical life activities, books, arts and crafts, and games. While they don’t supply many traditional Montessori materials, they do have support materials, such as phonetic objects. Customer service has also been great. Luckily I have only had one issue, and they reached out immediately to keep me updated and make sure I was satisfied.

What about you? What has been your favorite find (or finds!) at For Small Hands?

What Do Children Need for Cooking?

*This post contains affiliate links*

I have tried so many different cooking tools with children over the years. There are some I have come to love. Others… not so much. Here you’ll find a collection of my favorite kitchen tools and utensils for children.

Shelving

If your kitchen has the space for it, I highly recommend a dedicated shelf or cart for your child! A small kitchen island can be a great tool for children, as it can contain all of their own kitchen tools as well as provide their own space to work. I prefer open shelving for children, over closed cabinets, because it helps children see what they need better. This 20″ x 40″ island is counter height, so a child will still need a stool to reach, but it would make a fantastic kitchen are that can grow with your children.

A smaller alternative is a metal, rolling cart. Most of these have enough room for everything a child will need to cook with, plus they can be wheeled wherever it’s needed- or tucked out of the way as necessary.

A Tower

One of the most important things when letting children help in the kitchen is making sure they can easily reach things. Ideally, children should be working at a counter that is their height. In most Montessori schools, you will find a food prep station at just the right height for the children in the room. Of course, this is not often a reasonable alteration families can do in their home. Instead, step stools and “learning towers” can be a big help for our littlest helpers.

My favorite is the IKEA Bekvam (not affiliate). I used this as-is with my children. I was a little nervous at first since it is a little higher than I was comfortable, but my children have exhibited great care and now that my oldest is almost 7, it’s just a handy step stool for her. Additionally, I’m never far from my kids when they use this. Still, there are some great tutorials for turning the BEKVAM step stool into a learning tower! (If there is no IKEA in your area, here is an Amazon link)

I have used the Little Partners Kids Learning Tower in other family’s homes and I highly recommend it. It is sturdy, has four sides for safety, and has an adjustable height. I love the size; it is larger than some others, so it may not fit in every kitchen, but it can be helpful for a young chef.

Food Prep Tools

A top held wavy chopper is my favorite chopping tool. Because the handle is on the top, I don’t worry about children accidentally grabbing a sharp blade instead of a handle.

A cutting board is essential for food prep! This small cutting board is non-slip and comes in a variety of colors. It is just the right size for most of my kids’ food prep activities. I also love that it is dishwasher safe! If you are looking for a more natural alternative, such as a bamboo cutting board, I recommend this. It is a good size and looks beautiful.

Liquid measuring cups are another essential kitchen tool. I use the Pyrex set of 3 measuring cups for both myself and my children! My only complaint is that eventually, the ink washes off in the dishwasher. However, they are sturdy and easy for the children to handle! I like having a variety of sizes to better accommodate our needs as well as so different liquids don’t get mixed.

Finally, mixing bowls, measuring spoons, and measuring cups are essential. I prefer to use metal for these kitchen tools. Metal bowls are more lightweight compared to stone or glass bowls. This makes them easier for young children to handle, especially once they are filled with delicious food! Metal measuring cups and spoons, I have found, hold up best to use long term. I found this set on Amazon that offers all this and a little extra! You will also get a whisk, spatula, spreader, and lids.

Cookbooks

A cook book is a must have tool for any aspiring chef! Our favorite cook book is The Complete Cookbook for Young Chefs: 100+ Recipes that You’ll Love to Cook and Eat . We got this when my younger daughter was 3 and while she can’t read the recipes herself yet, the images are enticing and she loves picking foods out. The recipes are kid-tested and not too complicated.

Things You Already Have

Of course, many families use things they already have for their children! There is absolutely no need to buy the contents of a second kitchen just for your children. The most important thing is not to have “all the things,” but to make sure things are accessible to your child/children. When everything a child might need is in one spot, it is easier for him or her to find exactly what they need. If children have their own set of cooking tools, they will know where to find them without rummaging through all the other cabinets and drawers. Having their own set can also make food prep more enticing and give them a sense of pride and ownership- making them more likely to want to properly clean and take care of their tools!

In my own home, I have one space for all the children’s belongings. Other things we use, such as our mixing bowls, are shared by the family. While they eventually have learned where we keep everything, it was a little more difficult for them.

Montessori Toys – Wooden or Not?

Wooden materials are very common in Montessori classrooms, along with glass, metal, and other “real” materials. As often as possible, Montessori environments avoid the use of plastic. Of course, this is not always reasonable or possible, though we try.

Why not wooden?

Given the choice, I would purchase wooden options for toys and materials for play and homeschool. I outline why, below. But there are somethings I will not buy a wooden variety of and others I simply don’t.

When looking at which materials to purchase or create, I have a few things to consider. Firstly, what is the child to be learning from the material? Is there something to be lost, or gained, from going a non-traditional route? Next, I compare costs. There are a variety of companies making Montessori materials and many ideas for DIY materials. Can I easily make this material myself or is it time consuming? Do the supplies to make it cost almost as much as the material itself? Finally, how long will the material be used? When in a classroom, I know it will be used by many children over many years and a higher quality is best. At home, a material may only be used for a short time and maybe only with my children.

There are also things that I intentionally do not buy wooden versions of. Even in my classroom, I did not use wooden animals to learn about animals. If we were studying animals, such as animals of South America, I would have a collection of plastic, painted figures. They are often very realistic and give a good idea of what an animal looks like. I have used wooden animals, though they are displayed as art from a culture or as a polishing work. At home, LEGO blocks are a favorite. We have wooden blocks too, but the LEGOs have their own benefits.

Our homemade tray for the bead stair. Not as beautiful as a wooden tray, but it serves its purpose.

For math work, I bought a box of bead bars. I did not want paper and I did not want to do it myself, the cost was reasonable and I can use these bead bars for most anything we needed bead bars for. When it came time to display the bead stair for my youngest, I looked at buying a bead stair tray. It was far more expensive than I was willing to pay, but we needed something. Cue water, baking soda, and corn starch! I made a quick “clay” that has been serving us well. It’s not perfect but my kids’ attention is drawn to the beautiful beads and they easily complete the activity.

Fraction circles cut from felt, an easy and inexpensive DIY

A Final Consideration

Maria Montessori spent a lot of time developing specific materials to be used in the classroom. What she did not do was design toys to be used in free play at home. When looking at which toys to bring in, think about what your child may gain or learn from them, their longevity, and how interested your child may actually be in the toy. We have Barbie dolls at home. They’re used nearly every day for some very imaginative stories. They live in the wooden block houses my kids build and sometimes in cardboard boxes. And I’m OK with it. I don’t like “character” toys so you won’t find toys from popular TV shoes and movies in our home, but that’s just my own preference.

Why wooden, anyway?

Montessori environments aim to give children real experiences. The classroom is meant to feel like home, but at a child’s size. Tables, chairs, shelves, and sinks are low. They are given ceramic and glass cups and dishes- while some may break, they also learn the importance of being respectful of materials.

I love wooden toys and materials. Wood materials are beautiful. They draw children and adults alike to the shelves, eager to see, touch, and explore them. Whether it’s a wooden carving a child can polish or the classic “Pink Tower,” wood is an attractive material.

Additionally, wood material carries weight. When a child picks up the wood carving to polish it, he can feel the substance of the carving. It encourages him to treat it more carefully as he moves and turns it as he polishes it. When a child is building the pink tower, she begins with the smallest cube and carries each to her rug, one at a time. The smallest cube is tiny and nearly weightless. With each cube, the weight increases in correlation with the size. By the time she is lifting the tenth cube, the weight is far more substantial. As a sensorial material, this is incredibly important. Had the cubes been made of plastic, it would not have the same effect.

Further, wooden materials are more natural, giving yet another connection to the natural world for the child. Nature is an important part of Montessori philosophy, so it is only fitting to choose materials to encourage that connection. Being a natural material, it is kinder to the environment to use wooden materials over plastic. Not only do wooden materials typically last much longer than plastic materials, but they are biodegradable.

In Your Own Home

What works for my family? This is the question I ask frequently when buying things, whether for the household or for my children. When I see other people buying something I might not want in my house, that’s ok. We all have different priorities, tastes, and needs. You might love that print of Picasso in your home but I love the relatively unknown artist’s painting from a favorite vacation spot.

What considerations do you make when buying Montessori-aligned materials?

You’re Wrong! How to Kindly Handle Learning Mistakes

Imagine you are outside with your child, admiring the beautiful flowers blooming in a garden. As you and your child come to some pretty red roses, she excitedly says, “Look! A purple flower!”

But… these are not purple flowers. There aren’t even any purple flowers nearby, that you can see. These flowers are definitely red. You have two choices. You can kindly correct your little one or you can keep it in your mind for later.

The Montessori Philosophy

In a Montessori classroom, we try to avoid correcting the child and telling them they are wrong. Maria Montessori understood children are still learning and are doing their best. Just like adults, they do not always know the right answer. When children show us they are still working on mastering a topic, we try to remember that observation. This may mean they need a refresher lesson.

In the case of the red/purple roses, I might say, “Aren’t those flowers pretty? Do you like them?” and engage her in conversation. I may try to work in color naming to the conversation. Perhaps I will notice a different red flower and point it out, saying something like, “Wow, I love this red flower! Do you see the red flower?” At home, I would probably spend more time naming colors and doing activities with colors.

This is true for most any mistake or misunderstanding. If a child is adding 2 + 2 and gets 5, I let it be. As the child continues to practice addition equations, I will try to note why he might have gotten 5. Did he simply miscount? Did he grab the wrong number of beads? I will also look for an emerging pattern. If he goes through a set of addition equations and they are all incorrect, I will make a note to go over the lesson again with the child. If there is only one mistake, I may assume it was a simple mistake and more practice is needed.

Another thing to consider is that the child may not actually be wrong! Sometimes other people are seeing things in a different way than us and it gives them a different answer. Maybe they yell, “Blue jay!” excitedly while you see a robin hopping across the yard. What you don’t immediately notice is the blue jay sitting in the branch over the swing set. Or the purple flower hiding below the red roses.

A beautiful red rose, with lovely purple flowers behind!
Photo by BENE GARDEN on Pexels.com

But shouldn’t children know when they’re incorrect?

As an adult looking to teach children – whether it is your own child or a classroom of children – we often feel pressure to correct them. If we don’t tell them the red flower is actually red, and not purple, will they believe red is called purple? Will the wrong answer become embedded in their little brains?

In all likelihood, no. When we instantly correct a child, they will have a harder time truly learning it. In many cases, we will still be spending more time giving exposure and lessons to the proper terminology and methods. Additionally, think about how many times a day a child might make a mistake as they are learning. It may be many times a day as they are learning a new skill. When children frequently hear about their mistakes, it can become discouraging. If every time they try their addition work, you point out the incorrect equations, eventually they will be resistant to addition. They may feel like they can’t do it at all.

Further, immediately correcting a child will often mean disrupting concentration. One of the goals in a Montessori environment is to encourage children to have good concentration. We allow them to do their work (and play!) independently and become absorbed in it. Stepping in to correct them interrupts and makes it more difficult for them to learn deep concentration.

Montessori Materials and the Control of Error

Most Montessori materials have a built in “control of error.” This means there is a built in function that will let the child realize independently if he has made a mistake. Puzzles fit together in a particular way, sorting materials have an equal number of items per category, counting materials have exactly the right number of objects, and so on.

If a child is counting objects to match to numbers and gets to the number 10 but has eleven objects, something has the wrong number of items. A child may be able to figure this out on her own or she may choose to ask for help. Regardless, the child will feel better than if she were told (again) she was wrong.

Here, she is spelling words with the moveable alphabet. When she got to “blot” she made “dlot.” When she flipped over that card, she immediately saw the error and corrected it. And laughed about it!

When We Do Step In

The times we step in and immediately correct a child is typically limited to two occastions.

1: They are not being safe.
2: They are using something improperly

Of course we want our children to be safe and if you feel your child is being unsafe, then it is absolutely fine to step in and correct your child. In these situations, I try to keep things calm and kind. For example, my daughter had pulled a tall stool into the middle of the room and climbed on top. I could see she was not well balanced and could get hurt if she fell. I approached her so I could catch her if needed and said, “Wow, you are up high! This is not a safe place to be up high. You can get down yourself or I will help you.” When she got down, I invited her to climb in a more appropriate location.

In a Montessori classroom, many guides to not allow children to explore materials unless they have had a lesson on how to use it. The philosophy behind this is wanting to be sure the child understands for what the material is used. This way, a child does not have an incorrect usage in mind already which can take away from later understanding and meaning.

At home, many activities we have are more open ended materials so there are not certain “right” ways to use the materials. For me, unless there is a Montessori material being used, I leave it up to our own house rules. If I think a material or toy might break, I will step in. If it is something that could lead to someone getting hurt, I will step in. But I generally try to let them explore with their creativity.

How do you handle mistakes at home? Do you find yourself correcting more often than you like?

Numbers and Counting! Where to Start?

Many toddlers can proudly count to ten, fifteen, twenty, or more. Adults are often so excited and proud of their little ones counting higher and higher. The excitement is often shared by the youngster, happily rattling off numbers whenever someone requests it.

Don’t get me wrong, rote counting is an important skill. It is a necessary step in learning more advanced math concepts. Counting to a high number may sound impressive coming from a young child’s mouth. However, rote counting does not teach children what numbers mean.

Beginning Steps

Exposure to number and counting is still the first step. In Montessori environments, adults do not explicitly teach this, however. It is worked into everyday activities. Perhaps your toddler is stacking some blocks and excitedly shows you. A great response might be, “Wow! 1, 2, 3, 4… You stacked four blocks!” Or perhaps you and your toddler decide to start hopping outside. Count the hops! Or maybe count the cups of flour she’s pouring into the bowl. There are countless (pun, sorry!) opportunities to introduce counting to toddlers.

The first milestone I look for is the child counting from one to five. I will still count higher than this, usually up to ten at this point. Once a child has started counting to five, I begin to be more intentional with math.

One to One Correspondence

After a child is confidently counting to five or higher, I start inviting her to count objects with me. To start, I keep the number to five or less. The goal is to develop one to one correspondence; that is, understanding that each object in the group is counted one time and corresponds to the number. I try to keep these activities organic for toddlers, just as when I am first introducing rote counting. Often, toddlers are excited to count along with others.

When first beginning, I expect children to count objects twice, miss objects, or say the wrong number sometimes. That’s ok! They are still learning. Generally, in Montessori, we avoid pointing out to the child the is wrong. It can be demoralizing to a child, especially if he has been working hard to do something and the adult’s response is about how he did it wrong. Instead, I observe and make note of the errors. Do we need to practice more rote counting? Or do the objects need to be better lined up to see each one in order? The error is a clue to me how to help the child as we move forward.

All By Myself!

Anyone with experience with toddlers has likely experienced a toddler announcing they want to do something, “All by myself!” Counting independently is no different. Eventually children start noticing number themselves and will happily count objects. One of the first things my younger daughter started counting independently was the dots on her step stool. It was a great thing to do while potty training. Sometimes it feels less enjoyable, like the time we had to count every single bush on the way into the doctor’s office.

Counting 1 – 5. Matching pom poms to the corresponding colors, which also match the Montessori bead bars.

At this point, she can confidently count 5 objects and she is working on counting up to ten objects. That is as high as her rote counting goes. I will count to higher numbers with her, but when she counts independently past 11, numbers start getting silly. And that’s ok!

Primary Goal

The primary goal of early math experiences in a Montessori environment is to give children a concrete understanding of number. I want to know that young children I am working with understand what they are doing. When we talk about the number five, I want them to know there are five objects.

Like the other areas of the Montessori classroom, the materials and activities focus on helping children develop understanding of what they are working with before moving onto more complicated topics.

Written Numbers

Written number recognition will come later. Some parents like to teach children this early. There is nothing wrong with this. A toddler who has learned what each numeral is will certainly enjoy finding them in the world, such as noticing the house has a number “8” on it. The problem Montessorians find is that there is no understanding tied to the number recognition; the child often has memorized what each number looks like and can recite it back.

Montessori guides typically introduce numerals later. Once a child is confidently rote counting, we look to see that she has also mastered one to one correspondence. At this point, when we introduce the numerals, there will be understanding tied to the number.

When did your child begin counting? I’d love to hear how your family chose to incorporate counting and number understanding with your children!

Why should children do chores? And how to get there?

Children doing chores brings up a lot of feelings for parents. Some families expect children to do chores while other families do not wish to impose them on their kids. There are reasons parents have come to their decision and they often feel strongly about this topic, whatever they have decided.

In Montessori classrooms and homes, chores are an expectation. Maria Montessori saw benefits, described below, of children doing the work. Not only that- young children enjoyed it! Just think of how often your toddler “helpfully” puts all the mail in the trash or tries to sweep crumbs up, while really just making a larger mess.

We typically feel annoyed or frustrated and make the situation stop. Or maybe you don’t, but you are not sure where to start with teaching chores. Jump to see which chores will be appropriate for your children.

Why Chores?

Maria Montessori found children are far more capable than society believed. Once a child has been shown how to do a job, they will practice it for a while. How long depends on the child, the difficulty of the job, and how often it is done.

Montessori classrooms handle classroom jobs in different ways, but typically they are responsible for cleaning the classroom. (Note: it is also cleaned by adults after the children leave!) Children are expected to dust, care for plants, sweep, vacuum, clean windows, and do anything else that needs to be done.

Studies have also found chores are beneficial for children. For one, it helps them feel like an important part of the family; a “we’re all in this together” mindset. It can also be a source of pride, knowing they “did it.” Chores are beneficial in raising self-sufficient, independent children.

Introducing Chores

Montessori classrooms teach children how to do many simple housekeeping chores. We introduce children to one job at a time and use child sized tools. Classrooms have small brooms, squirt bottles, and carpet sweepers. In my own home, I have also have a stick vacuum and a hand vacuum for our kids.

Everything a child needs to do each task should be easy to access. For example, we keep the broom and dust pan hanging in easy reach in the kitchen. A squirt bottle (just water for my kids) and some microfiber cloths are in a bin to clean windows.

My first daughter has been doing laundry since she was 4.5. Stickers on the machine and laundry pods help her to be successful.

The next thing to do is give the lesson. I start the lesson by getting the tool(s) we will need and doing some of the task. Secondly, I model cleaning up my supplies, which might include dumping the dust pan in the trash or putting the cloth in the laundry. Then we put our supplies away. Next, I will put the tools away. Finally, I will invite the child to do the task himself.

Practice Makes Perfect

Children often do not clean as well as we would like. I handle this in a few ways. If I am with the child and they are still engaged in the task, I will show her what she needs to do. For example, if a child is sweeping, I may point to some crumbs she may have missed.

It is more complicated if the child has decided the job is already finished. For young children or children who are just learning how to complete the task, I often just let it be. I will take care of it later, but never in front of the child! If the child sees me “fixing” their work, it feels demeaning and will make them wonder why they did it in the first place. If it is an older child or a child who has practiced the job often, I will call her back to do a better job, but kindly. “Susan, I noticed you have finished sweeping, but there are still crumbs in the corner. Please sweep them up, then we will come back to this.”

Which chores are right for my child?

The first chores I start with my children are those of personal responsibility. This means putting toys away, putting their dirty clothes in the basket, and cleaning up after themselves. Gradually I add more household responsibilities as is developmentally appropriate. If my children express an interest in something earlier though, I am happy to accomodate!

Here is a handy guide if you need some ideas for where to start:

A Prepared Environment, What It Is, and How to Bring it Home

What is the Prepared Environment?

You may have heard Montessorians talk about the prepared environment. But what exactly is the prepared environment and how do you do it at home? (Jump to just that section)

The prepared environment means everything in the space is ready for the child’s use and exploration. We begin with child sized furniture and tools, open shelving for the children’s activities, and and supplies the child may need for the day. There is also a dedicated space for everything in the room and for the child’s belongings.

A child can enter a Montessori classroom, hang his coat, and complete any number of activities independently. There is a child-sized location to wash hands, use the restroom, and have a snack. Everything the child needs is in his reach.

The Final Touches

Before class starts for Montessori children, you can find Montessori guides and aides going about the classroom, making sure everything is ready. This may mean placing chairs at a table, getting foods out for food prep, or sharpening pencils. When children enter a Montessori classroom, we want them drawn to the materials. Everything the child needs should be ready.

After the children have left the classroom for the day, guides and aides go through their classrooms and clean up items that need to be put away. A forgotten work rug, a material or a piece of an activity. We tidy up and replenish whatever needs to be done. The shelves should be orderly, both visually and everything in the proper location.

But what about the children’s responsibility, you may be wondering. Aren’t Montessori children supposed to clean up after themselves?

Yes, and they do. But as adults we understand children are still learning. We assist in this as much as possible during the day and know there were be little things for us to tidy regardless. Some parents prefer to leave items as they lay for the child to notice the next day. With older children, this may work. When a young child returns to school and sees materials still out, forgotten, or work rugs haphazardly piled together, she does not learn respect of the materials. When materials are not in the proper location, she may not be independent in getting the material she now has to hunt for.

Adults show the children how we respect the materials and keep the space organized by ensuring it is that way at the start of the day.

Prepared Home Environment

The first step is to make your what your child needs more accessible in your home. More on that here. The next step is to make sure everything your child needs has it’s “home.” That is, each item should have one place it always belongs. A bin for shoes by the door, a cabinet for dishes, a shelf for the puzzle, and so on. New toys

On a daily basis, it is great for your child to see you cleaning up. Children are naturally observant and will notice that you always clean up the breakfast dishes in the morning and pick up miscellaneous things around the living room. The other piece is to help your child clean up their own things. With toddlers, it helps to show them the new activity, do it with them, and model putting it away. As they get older, I try to notice when they are finishing up and remind them to put the activity away. Work rugs/play mats are a huge help with this! You can check out my post on them here. At this point, my five year old benefits from reminders but she does not always need them.

When the kids aren’t around, I put the finishing touches on cleaning up. While I’m with them, I’ll help direct and assist as needed, but I know while they’re still learning, it’s going to be “kid clean.” Things may be put back on the shelves willy nilly, their jacket on the floor under the hook, or maybe a toy completely forgotten about. That’s OK! I pick the last few things up.

In the morning, my children will see how beautiful everything looks. It will help them remember their belongings are important and to be cared for. As they get older, they can assume more responsibility for this. For an older child, you may want to do a quick sweep of the are after they’ve cleaned up. You can point out the things that are disorderly, left out, or missing and help them finish up as needed.

Where do you struggle with the prepared environment? How does this affect your child? What are you doing well, and what can be improved?

“Children are Human Beings to Whom Respect is Due”

It’s hard for me to choose a favorite quote from Maria Montessori, though this is certainly up there. I have seen a lot of posts lately on the topic of respecting children – and not everyone agrees with it.

I see the point they make and understand the feelings behind it. Some adults try to show children respect without demanding it from children.

When Maria Montessori wrote about respecting children, she meant we should be showing kindness, allowing them to make developmentally appropriate choices, and help them to be independent. We must also respect ourselves. But getting that balance right can be tricky.

So please, do give your child choices. Allow independence. Allow your child to feel heard and take his opinions into consideration. Work with your child to solve problems and make sure tasks get done. Love your child as best you can. Be kind. Be gentle.

But don’t forget to respect yourself, too. Set your limits and be firm. Don’t accept unacceptable behavior or language. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Most importantly, remember that none of us are perfect and we’re all trying the best we can.

A Balancing Act

For many parents, it’s difficult to find the right balance of kind and firm, when to give choices and when not to, which battles to pick and when to let things go. Sometimes we feel the respect we’re showing our children is too lenient, whether because we really are being lenient or because we’re just used to a more authoritarian parenting style.

However you are feeling about parenting, it’s important to look at what matters to YOU. Then work backwards and think about what that would look like when you interact with your child.

For example, it’s important to me that my children ask for things. I don’t care if they say please, they may not demand things of me. “I want milk, please,” feels a lot different than, “May I have some milk, please?” Since this is a way that I feel more respected, I let them know I will help them when they ask me kindly.

And when my daughter has decided she does not want to clean up her LEGO blocks, I ask why. Maybe she feels like there are too many and she wants some help. Maybe she worked really hard on her creation and doesn’t want it ruined. We can work it out. She is still going to be responsible for her toys, but maybe I can help her in some way. Or maybe we find a safe spot to save her creation and the rest of the blocks get put away. I’m can show respect for her and her perspective without taking away my role as a parent.

Does “respect for the child” come naturally to you? Does it feel hard? Where do you struggle and where do you succeed?

Montessori at Home: So easy, you can do it!

It’s impressive. Parents and observers often marvel at the level of independence of children in Montessori classrooms, noticing how little direction children seem to need as the accomplish their tasks. These comments are often followed up with, “My child would never do this at home!”

Maybe not, but… maybe!

Small changes can make a big difference in your life and your child’s life. Start with one thing. Maria Montessori developed her philosophy and materials through careful observation and trial and error. Tweak little things in your home as you transition to a more “Montessori.”

Make it a “Yes space”

No one, especially not a young child seeking independence, wants to be told, “No!” all day. Everyone feels better and interacts better when all those negative comments go away. Now, this does not mean we should never say, “No,” to our children or never discipline; we merely want the child’s main spaces to feel like a safe place for your child, where you can spend more time enjoying your child and less time worrying.

What does this look like? I do not think there is a simple answer that will satisfy every family’s needs. Step one I would recommend is basic child proofing (outlet covers, tripping hazards, exposed cords/wires). Step two is OBSERVE. Where is your child drawn to?

Let Routines be the Boss

“It’s time to get dressed.”
“You’re still in your pajamas. You NEED clothes on!”
“WHY are you STILL wearing your PAJAMAS?! We need to leave in five minutes!”

Sound familiar? I’m sure every parent (guilty!) has gone through this at some point. This is where routines can be a huge help. HUGE. When there is no set routine, children don’t know what is coming next. They may feel uncertain, anxious, worried. They may get involved in an activity and have no realization they should be getting dressed.

Routines differ from schedules. Schedules tell us what time we do what. Routines simply tell us in what order things happen. For young children, who do not yet understand time, routines offer predictability.

Try to keep routines simple. For example, our evening routine is dinner, shower, brush teeth, jammies, books (in bed). After we clean up dinner, the kids know they’re heading to the bathroom to shower. There are no questions or arguments about what is happening. I often don’t even need to remind them what to do!

Creating a routine that works for your children and family may take some trial and error, which is ok. Once you figure it out, try to be as strict as possible with the routine, but be flexible with the timing. For example, it’s OK if they spend an extra 15 minutes in the shower today, just move on to the next step. Just make sure the same things happen in the same order and the same way as every day. It’s hard at first, but I promise it will become second nature!

Now that my oldest is 5, she is able to be far more flexible with routines, which is helpful. But on most days, she follows the routine just as much as my toddler.

Accessibility & Child Sized Furniture

Montessorians advocate giving children as much independence as we can. In a Montessori classroom, you will see small tables and chairs, low shelves, and low counters for food prep. We recognize this is only a dream for many families! In our home, we use a small table and chair set and make sure everything the children need (whether it’s toys or tools) are accessible. They can get their own in and out of bed, their own clothes, reach the bathroom sink and toilet, get their own dishes… basically anything they need. We utilize the low drawers and shelves around the house and have plenty of step stools where needed.

A small shelf in the kitchen, if you have room, can serve as dish/utensil storage and a small food prep area. Some families set up a low table for a Montessori handwashing station next to a child’s potty. Pinterest has a million ideas to help you find what will work best in your home, for your family.

For more information on preparing the space for your child, see my post on the prepared environment.

Organization

“A place for everything, everything in its place.”

Young children are in their sensitive period for order. They take comfort in order. Not to mention, an orderly home makes everything easier for parents, too! Think about things your child needs and uses and make sure it has a designated place; in my home, we refer to item’s places as their “home” and talk about where things “live.”

Open shelves for toys and activities let children see their choices, easily get what they want, and make clean up easier. By the door, we have a shoe rack and some low hooks for jackets. For ease, there are small bins on the shoe rack. Each child has a shoe bin and a hat/glove bin. My youngest also keeps her socks there because she never seems to have socks on when it’s actually time to put shoes on.

Much like routines creating predictability, when children know that certain things are always in certain places, they can independently get the things they need and want.

One of the challenges with organization is helping children remember to actually put things away. As much as young children truly do appreciate organization, it takes a lot of work from adults to make sure it happens. Your role is to model putting things away, help and remind children to put things away when they’re finished, and help clean things up when they are not around (see my post about the “prepared environment” for more info).

So… what next?

Where do you start with all this? How do you do it? There are so many options, it can be hard to know where you should start in your own home. Or maybe you’ve already started doing some of these and are looking for the next step.

Let me know in the comments what is working – and not working – for you!