Montessori Philosophy - The Montessori Mommy

A Prepared Environment, What It Is, and How to Bring it Home

What is the Prepared Environment?

You may have heard Montessorians talk about the prepared environment. But what exactly is the prepared environment and how do you do it at home? (Jump to just that section)

The prepared environment means everything in the space is ready for the child’s use and exploration. We begin with child sized furniture and tools, open shelving for the children’s activities, and and supplies the child may need for the day. There is also a dedicated space for everything in the room and for the child’s belongings.

A child can enter a Montessori classroom, hang his coat, and complete any number of activities independently. There is a child-sized location to wash hands, use the restroom, and have a snack. Everything the child needs is in his reach.

The Final Touches

Before class starts for Montessori children, you can find Montessori guides and aides going about the classroom, making sure everything is ready. This may mean placing chairs at a table, getting foods out for food prep, or sharpening pencils. When children enter a Montessori classroom, we want them drawn to the materials. Everything the child needs should be ready.

After the children have left the classroom for the day, guides and aides go through their classrooms and clean up items that need to be put away. A forgotten work rug, a material or a piece of an activity. We tidy up and replenish whatever needs to be done. The shelves should be orderly, both visually and everything in the proper location.

But what about the children’s responsibility, you may be wondering. Aren’t Montessori children supposed to clean up after themselves?

Yes, and they do. But as adults we understand children are still learning. We assist in this as much as possible during the day and know there were be little things for us to tidy regardless. Some parents prefer to leave items as they lay for the child to notice the next day. With older children, this may work. When a young child returns to school and sees materials still out, forgotten, or work rugs haphazardly piled together, she does not learn respect of the materials. When materials are not in the proper location, she may not be independent in getting the material she now has to hunt for.

Adults show the children how we respect the materials and keep the space organized by ensuring it is that way at the start of the day.

Prepared Home Environment

The first step is to make your what your child needs more accessible in your home. More on that here. The next step is to make sure everything your child needs has it’s “home.” That is, each item should have one place it always belongs. A bin for shoes by the door, a cabinet for dishes, a shelf for the puzzle, and so on. New toys

On a daily basis, it is great for your child to see you cleaning up. Children are naturally observant and will notice that you always clean up the breakfast dishes in the morning and pick up miscellaneous things around the living room. The other piece is to help your child clean up their own things. With toddlers, it helps to show them the new activity, do it with them, and model putting it away. As they get older, I try to notice when they are finishing up and remind them to put the activity away. Work rugs/play mats are a huge help with this! You can check out my post on them here. At this point, my five year old benefits from reminders but she does not always need them.

When the kids aren’t around, I put the finishing touches on cleaning up. While I’m with them, I’ll help direct and assist as needed, but I know while they’re still learning, it’s going to be “kid clean.” Things may be put back on the shelves willy nilly, their jacket on the floor under the hook, or maybe a toy completely forgotten about. That’s OK! I pick the last few things up.

In the morning, my children will see how beautiful everything looks. It will help them remember their belongings are important and to be cared for. As they get older, they can assume more responsibility for this. For an older child, you may want to do a quick sweep of the are after they’ve cleaned up. You can point out the things that are disorderly, left out, or missing and help them finish up as needed.

Where do you struggle with the prepared environment? How does this affect your child? What are you doing well, and what can be improved?

“Children are Human Beings to Whom Respect is Due”

It’s hard for me to choose a favorite quote from Maria Montessori, though this is certainly up there. I have seen a lot of posts lately on the topic of respecting children – and not everyone agrees with it.

I see the point they make and understand the feelings behind it. Some adults try to show children respect without demanding it from children.

When Maria Montessori wrote about respecting children, she meant we should be showing kindness, allowing them to make developmentally appropriate choices, and help them to be independent. We must also respect ourselves. But getting that balance right can be tricky.

So please, do give your child choices. Allow independence. Allow your child to feel heard and take his opinions into consideration. Work with your child to solve problems and make sure tasks get done. Love your child as best you can. Be kind. Be gentle.

But don’t forget to respect yourself, too. Set your limits and be firm. Don’t accept unacceptable behavior or language. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Most importantly, remember that none of us are perfect and we’re all trying the best we can.

A Balancing Act

For many parents, it’s difficult to find the right balance of kind and firm, when to give choices and when not to, which battles to pick and when to let things go. Sometimes we feel the respect we’re showing our children is too lenient, whether because we really are being lenient or because we’re just used to a more authoritarian parenting style.

However you are feeling about parenting, it’s important to look at what matters to YOU. Then work backwards and think about what that would look like when you interact with your child.

For example, it’s important to me that my children ask for things. I don’t care if they say please, they may not demand things of me. “I want milk, please,” feels a lot different than, “May I have some milk, please?” Since this is a way that I feel more respected, I let them know I will help them when they ask me kindly.

And when my daughter has decided she does not want to clean up her LEGO blocks, I ask why. Maybe she feels like there are too many and she wants some help. Maybe she worked really hard on her creation and doesn’t want it ruined. We can work it out. She is still going to be responsible for her toys, but maybe I can help her in some way. Or maybe we find a safe spot to save her creation and the rest of the blocks get put away. I’m can show respect for her and her perspective without taking away my role as a parent.

Does “respect for the child” come naturally to you? Does it feel hard? Where do you struggle and where do you succeed?

Montessori at Home: So easy, you can do it!

It’s impressive. Parents and observers often marvel at the level of independence of children in Montessori classrooms, noticing how little direction children seem to need as the accomplish their tasks. These comments are often followed up with, “My child would never do this at home!”

Maybe not, but… maybe!

Small changes can make a big difference in your life and your child’s life. Start with one thing. Maria Montessori developed her philosophy and materials through careful observation and trial and error. Tweak little things in your home as you transition to a more “Montessori.”

Make it a “Yes space”

No one, especially not a young child seeking independence, wants to be told, “No!” all day. Everyone feels better and interacts better when all those negative comments go away. Now, this does not mean we should never say, “No,” to our children or never discipline; we merely want the child’s main spaces to feel like a safe place for your child, where you can spend more time enjoying your child and less time worrying.

What does this look like? I do not think there is a simple answer that will satisfy every family’s needs. Step one I would recommend is basic child proofing (outlet covers, tripping hazards, exposed cords/wires). Step two is OBSERVE. Where is your child drawn to?

Let Routines be the Boss

“It’s time to get dressed.”
“You’re still in your pajamas. You NEED clothes on!”
“WHY are you STILL wearing your PAJAMAS?! We need to leave in five minutes!”

Sound familiar? I’m sure every parent (guilty!) has gone through this at some point. This is where routines can be a huge help. HUGE. When there is no set routine, children don’t know what is coming next. They may feel uncertain, anxious, worried. They may get involved in an activity and have no realization they should be getting dressed.

Routines differ from schedules. Schedules tell us what time we do what. Routines simply tell us in what order things happen. For young children, who do not yet understand time, routines offer predictability.

Try to keep routines simple. For example, our evening routine is dinner, shower, brush teeth, jammies, books (in bed). After we clean up dinner, the kids know they’re heading to the bathroom to shower. There are no questions or arguments about what is happening. I often don’t even need to remind them what to do!

Creating a routine that works for your children and family may take some trial and error, which is ok. Once you figure it out, try to be as strict as possible with the routine, but be flexible with the timing. For example, it’s OK if they spend an extra 15 minutes in the shower today, just move on to the next step. Just make sure the same things happen in the same order and the same way as every day. It’s hard at first, but I promise it will become second nature!

Now that my oldest is 5, she is able to be far more flexible with routines, which is helpful. But on most days, she follows the routine just as much as my toddler.

Accessibility & Child Sized Furniture

Montessorians advocate giving children as much independence as we can. In a Montessori classroom, you will see small tables and chairs, low shelves, and low counters for food prep. We recognize this is only a dream for many families! In our home, we use a small table and chair set and make sure everything the children need (whether it’s toys or tools) are accessible. They can get their own in and out of bed, their own clothes, reach the bathroom sink and toilet, get their own dishes… basically anything they need. We utilize the low drawers and shelves around the house and have plenty of step stools where needed.

A small shelf in the kitchen, if you have room, can serve as dish/utensil storage and a small food prep area. Some families set up a low table for a Montessori handwashing station next to a child’s potty. Pinterest has a million ideas to help you find what will work best in your home, for your family.

For more information on preparing the space for your child, see my post on the prepared environment.

Organization

“A place for everything, everything in its place.”

Young children are in their sensitive period for order. They take comfort in order. Not to mention, an orderly home makes everything easier for parents, too! Think about things your child needs and uses and make sure it has a designated place; in my home, we refer to item’s places as their “home” and talk about where things “live.”

Open shelves for toys and activities let children see their choices, easily get what they want, and make clean up easier. By the door, we have a shoe rack and some low hooks for jackets. For ease, there are small bins on the shoe rack. Each child has a shoe bin and a hat/glove bin. My youngest also keeps her socks there because she never seems to have socks on when it’s actually time to put shoes on.

Much like routines creating predictability, when children know that certain things are always in certain places, they can independently get the things they need and want.

One of the challenges with organization is helping children remember to actually put things away. As much as young children truly do appreciate organization, it takes a lot of work from adults to make sure it happens. Your role is to model putting things away, help and remind children to put things away when they’re finished, and help clean things up when they are not around (see my post about the “prepared environment” for more info).

So… what next?

Where do you start with all this? How do you do it? There are so many options, it can be hard to know where you should start in your own home. Or maybe you’ve already started doing some of these and are looking for the next step.

Let me know in the comments what is working – and not working – for you!