Montessori Philosophy: The Power of Observation

In a scientific environment, observation is very important. Scientists learn a lot through what they can objectively observe and use the data for further research. As Maria Montessori was a scientist herself, it is not surprising that she utilized this tool when working with children.

Observations can be very enlightening. Often when we are interacting with our children, we are too involved to see the whole picture. When we sit back and observe without interacting, it is easier to see things that are happening. Sometimes we need only sit and watch for a few minutes, other times we can sit and watch for a longer period of time. One of the best times to sit back and observe is when we see that our child is struggling with something or something does not seem to be working for my child or our routine.

Fixing a Problem

In my own house, we typically enter and exit through the kitchen. We have a coat rack for adults and low hooks for children’s coats. We do not typically remove shoes when we come in, so shoe storage is in the bedrooms. This has always been my routine and I find it works well. However, it was clearly not working for my children. Most days I had to chase after my children to remind them to hang their coats or else who knows where they would end up. Shoes typically went back into the shoe bins, but retrieving them when it was time to wear shoes was a challenge.

This is when observation became helpful. I found a solution to our problem because I took some time to pause and watch what was happening. What I saw was my children coming inside and continuing to walk through the kitchen before even attempting to remove their jacket. It made sense; there is more room in the living room and there are lots of times when we are also bringing things in from the car or playing. Stopping to remove jackets in the middle of the hustle and bustle did not make sense.

I saw that we needed a better location for hanging coats and storing shoes. Near our front door, we had a small unused space – perfect for hanging a few hooks! The hooks are just the right height for my children to hang their coats independently. Under the hooks, I got a small shoe shelf. It is nice and low with space for both shoe bins and a few extra things, such as lunch boxes. Because the storage is in a more convenient place for my children, I rarely see coats on the floor, I rarely have to remind about putting coats and shoes away, and everyone is able to get ready to go out quickly.

What to Look for When Observing

When we are observing, whether it is so we can solve an issue or just to see how things are working, there are a few things we want to make note of. I find it helps to observe what is happening with some questions in mind. These are a few things I consider:

  1. What is causing frustration for your child?
  2. If you are feeling frustrated by a part of a routine or something that is happening, what can you see that is happening?
  3. What location or material is your child drawn to?
  4. Where or which material is your child avoiding?
  5. What attributes do the things have that your child is either drawn to or avoiding?

Using This Information

After the observation, I go over my notes. With some things, multiple observations are necessary to get a good picture of what is happening and who the child is. Today he may play with wooden blocks all day and not touch anything else. It may not because anything is wrong with the other materials or setup; the blocks are simply where he wants to be that day. When a child is routinely avoiding a certain area or certain materials, it will be more telling. In a classroom, for example, there are days when a child will avoid the math area completely and other days when she spends the entire day doing various math activities. If you notice a trend that the child is never choosing math materials over a longer period of time, it is time to problem-solve. Are the concepts confusing? Is she not confident in her abilities? Is she unsure of what is an appropriate choice?

When you are already aware of an issue, sometimes it only takes one or two observations to figure things out. With the example from my home, I observed once and saw what was happening. Because I had witnessed it before, without giving it much thought, I realized the same things had been happening daily.

Getting a second opinion can also be very helpful. Sometimes I will go to my husband in the evenings and tell him things I have observed in our children. After explaining what I have seen, he might tell me something from his perspective that is eye-opening for me.

Noticing Interests

A child’s interests will often become apparent through observation, which will allow us to bring in more activities that will benefit. When my oldest daughter was a toddler, she became an expert at scooping dog food. This was great, when the dog needed to be fed, but most of the time it was problematic. Following her interests, I set up a little scooping work. I found some decorative pebbles, low dishes, and a small scoop that fit right in the palm of her hand. She scooped pebbles to her hearts content (the dog was quite disappointed by this!). Perhaps your child looks at books about the African savanna; try bringing in more activities to explore the savanna such as animal figures or work about the ecosystem.

Your Challenge

I challenge you to make a point to observe your children a few times in the next week. Write down what you see and think about it. What is working well for you and your children? What is a challenge? How can you help them? Let me know in the comments!

Birds

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As spring is coming ever so slowly, we’re seeing more and more birds around, much to the delight of my toddler. For Christmas, she got a bird feeder and diligently feeds the birds. I keep an eye on it to make sure it’s filled, but most of the time she’s ready to refill it as soon as it gets low!

Supporting this interest in our homeschool room, we have a few shelves of bird activities. Some are old, some are new, and all are loved. From top to bottom, left to right, we have:

My toddler’s favorite activities is matching the bird figures to the cards. Normally, when I do matching activities for toddler and primary aged children, I prefer to make the images match the objects. So when I do a Safari LTD TOOB, I take photos (or find them pre-made) of the TOOB objects. In this case, I used photos of the birds. I went this route because many of the birds we have seen and will continue to see, so there is more real life experience. She can hold a figurine of a Blue Jay, look at a photo, and see them in the yard.

Sibley Flashcards and Matching

We have enjoyed going through the many cards in the flash card box set. The birds are divided into three sets: Western US, Eastern US, and Common to all. Since my children are younger and there are SO many cards, I pulled out the cards for birds we don’t have. Sometimes my children will sit quietly and look at the pictures, which are beautiful and drawings. Sometimes we use them as a resource, either wondering more information about a bird or for identifying new birds we see.

Personally, my favorite is the memory game. My toddler uses this material as a matching activity, which is great. My older daughter likes playing Memory. The cards are thick cardboard with the name and image of the bird. The images match the fact file cards, which is great for when we come across a bird we haven’t actually seen before.

Sibley Memory Game and Sibley Fact Cards

Last, but not least!

Of course, I included the Montessori Parts of a Bird puzzle in the mini bird unit. We have a complete set of parts of animal puzzles, which my kids love. A favorite is the horse puzzle, so this was a good opportunity to remind them about the bird puzzle! Now that it is sitting displayed on the shelf, it is definitely getting more use.

Bird Egg Tonging

The final activity I added to the shelf was bird egg sorting. The eggs are wooden eggs I had. I don’t remember where I got them, but I’m sure you could find them in a craft store. I painted them with acrylic paints, and my daughter loved splattering the black paint to make them look speckled! The little nests, from Amazon, each hold four eggs nicely. The tongs are a bit tricky for my toddler, but it’s great practice for my older daughter.

Side Note: Illustrations versus Photos

Sometimes I see parents questioning whether or not a material is “Montessori” because it uses illustrations rather than photos. This comes from the idea that we want to always show children what is real rather than pretend images. It is an excellent point, but sometimes misguided. In my classroom and in my home, I strive for realistic representation when learning about something. When choosing a book or material, rather than limiting myself to photos, I want to see that images are accurate and beautiful. Sometimes this means photos and sometimes it means illustrations. So, you’ll see we have a mixture of both on our shelves currently.

Children, Schedules, and Routines – Oh my!

Routine. Schedule. We often use these words interchangeably. In many cases, they can be used interchangeably. It’s easy to find posts on different people’s suggested routines and schedules. As a stay-at-home mom, I love having a schedule to follow. It keeps me on my toes. For my kids, routines save the day. Or night.

What’s the Difference?

Simply put, schedules tell you when you do things and routines are how you do things. A schedule will look like a list of things you do attached to a time. Wake up at 6:00, out the door by 8, lunch at 12, home at 6, dinner at 7.

A routine tells us in what order we do things and often fills in blanks within a schedule. First you do this, then you do that. When you wake up, put your slippers on, brush your teeth, pull your hair back, and grab a cup of coffee, and browse news articles. A routine may not seem like a big deal, and you may not even think about it while it’s happening. Sometimes we never even think about it, such as when you brush your teeth: grab the toothbrush, then the toothpaste. Wet the brush and and add the toothpaste. You may not even be thinking about each of these things while you do it.

What do children need?

In my own experiences as a caregiver, teacher, and parent, I have to say routines rule the day. Young children, especially, crave consistency (sensitive period for order!) and predictability. While creating a routine and sticking to it may be difficult, once the routine is established, it makes things run like clockwork. Suddenly you’ll find your child automatically hanging her jacket up when she comes in and getting ready for bed with almost no prompting. Everyone feels happier and more relaxed.

Schedules can be useful, but I have found it often causes stress for parents. The biggest reason? Children do not understand how time passes yet, let alone how to tell time. Some parents have chosen, or been encouraged, to keep a rigid schedule for their children. On the one hand, this will create a routine and make life predictable for the child. On the other, life often does not follow our set schedules. Maybe your child sleeps in and throws the time off the schedule. Or maybe you have decided snack is at 9:30, but your child is not hungry at that time today.

In my experience, schedules work best when used as guidelines to help adults keep on track. For example, we start school at 9. This gives my kids plenty of time to eat, get dressed, and play before school. But sometimes we start around 8:30 and other times we start at 9:30.

Creating a Routine at Home

The best routines are the simple ones. An easy morning routine is wake up, diaper/potty, breakfast, clothes, brush teeth. At bedtime, we normally have dinner, clean up, shower, brush teeth, get jammies on, and read in bed. Most nights, there is very little argument about what needs to happen.

I also like to look at the whole day. Again, I don’t have a set time most of these things happen, but generally this is our day:

  • Breakfast
  • Get ready for the day
  • Free play, indoor or outdoor
  • School time
  • Lunch
  • Outdoor play
  • Reading or TV
  • Indoor play
  • Dinner
  • Bed

Once you have decided what you feel will work best for you and your family, you have to be diligent in making it happen. Do you want your child to hang his coat up as soon as he walks in the door? Every time he comes in, be there and remind him. Be kind and firm. Model doing the same. If he starts to leave his coat on the floor, let him know.

And sometimes, life gets in the way. You have a few kids, one kid left their coat on the floor while you were helping someone else, the dog is begging for attention, and something has just spilled on the floor. If it is my toddler’s coat on the floor, I often just hang it up for them. For a toddler, the moment has passed and their attention is elsewhere. If it is my older daughter’s coat on the floor, I have her come back and hang it up.

What routines or schedules have helped your family?

Your kids cooked THAT?! Helping Kids Learn to Cook

My kids often impress friends and family with their cooking abilities. My two year old (nearly) independently makes frozen waffles and scrambled eggs in the morning. Meanwhile, my 5 year old is learning to follow a recipe and has made meatloaf, pancakes, and a few slow cooker meals. Both children have helped with a variety of cooking and baking activities.

My youngest, after recently turning 2, learning how to make lasagna

Why so young?

Food prep is an integral part of a Montessori classroom. Most classrooms have some sort of food prep available daily for children. Sometimes it’s something simple, such as an apple slicing station. Sometimes it’s a large group effort, such as a large recipe where everyone contributes something.

One of the benefits of giving children opportunities to prepare their own food is that they become more willing to eat the foods they have made. In fact, when parents tell us their child is a picky eater, this is one of our first suggestions! Another benefit is a child’s self esteem. A few months ago, my oldest daughter asked for meatloaf for dinner. I had not been planning on making that, though we had all the ingredients. So I suggested she make it herself. The look on her face when she showed the family her meatloaf was priceless. She happily told her dad that she made dinner and asked me send pictures of her with her meatloaf to her grandparents.

Meatloaf!

Also, children who practice cooking skills at a young age gain confidence in the kitchen. I do not expect my children to leave our home as master chefs, but I hope they can make simple, delicious meals for themselves, friends, and families. I’ve met a number of people who found themselves on their own and realized they had no idea how to cook. Eating out and pre-made meals became expensive. If that is how my children eat as adults, I would rather know it is their choice rather than them struggling to figure it out on their own.

Finally, it often becomes an enjoyable activity for my kids and I to work on together.

How did we do it?

Like most things in a Montessori classroom, we start simple and build. As infants and young toddlers, my children were often in the kitchen with me when I was cooking. They were observing what I was doing and even got to sneak some tastes. As their motor skills grew, they started standing on their stepstool next to me. I would offer them spoons and whisks and they would happily stir.

Then we introduced a crinkle chopper, a nylon knife, and a small cutting board. Bananas and strawberries are very easy first chopping foods. Making guacamole is an easy- and delicious- snack for toddlers to make. As their abilities grew, we started adding tougher foods to chop. Cucumbers, then apples, then carrots. Pretty soon, they can make a whole tossed salad!

When baking, I started with measuring ingredients and letting my children pour them into the mixing bowl. Turning our stand mixer on is also a favorite with my kids. When they are ready, they start measuring the ingredients themselves, carefully scooping and leveling with a butter knife. Now that my older daughter is learning to read and knows simple fractions, she is able to figure out exactly how much of everything she needs.

Making cookies!

When it comes to cooking in a pan, I like to start with scrambling eggs. My toddler will happily crack an egg into a bowl, pour a little milk, add salt and pepper, and mix it all up. She pours the mixture into the pan and scrambles everything. She only needs help with getting the eggs out of the pan. Another easy food prep is browning ground beef, which uses similar skills to making scrambled eggs. My kids have helped make beef chili and taco meat.

Tacos for dinner!

Safety and the Adult’s Role

Of course, safety is a concern. Before children begin using a stove, they need to understand the pan is hot. We only use cast iron skillets at home, so a potholder or handle cover is necessary to handle a hot pan. Anything coming from the oven is also hot. I often show how hot the pans are by inviting my children to hold their hands, briefly, near the hot pan so they can feel the heat.

I give them the tools they need to be safe and handle things beyond their capabilities, such as putting things in and out of the oven. At this point, my kids just aren’t large enough to safely reach into an oven. Small burns are inevitable, even I have been known to burn myself now and then. A little first aid (cold water, maybe some ointment, and hugs) and the children will learn to be a little more careful.

Chopping foods can also be a safety concern. My favorite first tools are top handled crinkle choppers and nylon knives. We practice holding the food in a safe place, away from the blades. We also look at the parts of the knife or chopper, noticing which part looks sharp and which place is safe for holding.

As my children become more independent with food prep, I am often close by keeping an eye on things. I do my best not intervene unless necessary or asked. I find it is helpful if I am working on my own cooking task alongside my children. While I am prepping some chicken, perhaps one of them is cutting vegetables for a salad.

As they practice more, the more independent they can be with things. For most snacks, I know my kids can get what they want easily and safely. The foods and tools they need are within reach. Spreading peanut butter on crackers or bread is a quick and easy favorite in our house.

What do your children like to cook? How comfortable are you in letting them cook? Let me know in the comments!

Montessori Toys – Wooden or Not?

Wooden materials are very common in Montessori classrooms, along with glass, metal, and other “real” materials. As often as possible, Montessori environments avoid the use of plastic. Of course, this is not always reasonable or possible, though we try.

Why not wooden?

Given the choice, I would purchase wooden options for toys and materials for play and homeschool. I outline why, below. But there are somethings I will not buy a wooden variety of and others I simply don’t.

When looking at which materials to purchase or create, I have a few things to consider. Firstly, what is the child to be learning from the material? Is there something to be lost, or gained, from going a non-traditional route? Next, I compare costs. There are a variety of companies making Montessori materials and many ideas for DIY materials. Can I easily make this material myself or is it time consuming? Do the supplies to make it cost almost as much as the material itself? Finally, how long will the material be used? When in a classroom, I know it will be used by many children over many years and a higher quality is best. At home, a material may only be used for a short time and maybe only with my children.

There are also things that I intentionally do not buy wooden versions of. Even in my classroom, I did not use wooden animals to learn about animals. If we were studying animals, such as animals of South America, I would have a collection of plastic, painted figures. They are often very realistic and give a good idea of what an animal looks like. I have used wooden animals, though they are displayed as art from a culture or as a polishing work. At home, LEGO blocks are a favorite. We have wooden blocks too, but the LEGOs have their own benefits.

Our homemade tray for the bead stair. Not as beautiful as a wooden tray, but it serves its purpose.

For math work, I bought a box of bead bars. I did not want paper and I did not want to do it myself, the cost was reasonable and I can use these bead bars for most anything we needed bead bars for. When it came time to display the bead stair for my youngest, I looked at buying a bead stair tray. It was far more expensive than I was willing to pay, but we needed something. Cue water, baking soda, and corn starch! I made a quick “clay” that has been serving us well. It’s not perfect but my kids’ attention is drawn to the beautiful beads and they easily complete the activity.

Fraction circles cut from felt, an easy and inexpensive DIY

A Final Consideration

Maria Montessori spent a lot of time developing specific materials to be used in the classroom. What she did not do was design toys to be used in free play at home. When looking at which toys to bring in, think about what your child may gain or learn from them, their longevity, and how interested your child may actually be in the toy. We have Barbie dolls at home. They’re used nearly every day for some very imaginative stories. They live in the wooden block houses my kids build and sometimes in cardboard boxes. And I’m OK with it. I don’t like “character” toys so you won’t find toys from popular TV shoes and movies in our home, but that’s just my own preference.

Why wooden, anyway?

Montessori environments aim to give children real experiences. The classroom is meant to feel like home, but at a child’s size. Tables, chairs, shelves, and sinks are low. They are given ceramic and glass cups and dishes- while some may break, they also learn the importance of being respectful of materials.

I love wooden toys and materials. Wood materials are beautiful. They draw children and adults alike to the shelves, eager to see, touch, and explore them. Whether it’s a wooden carving a child can polish or the classic “Pink Tower,” wood is an attractive material.

Additionally, wood material carries weight. When a child picks up the wood carving to polish it, he can feel the substance of the carving. It encourages him to treat it more carefully as he moves and turns it as he polishes it. When a child is building the pink tower, she begins with the smallest cube and carries each to her rug, one at a time. The smallest cube is tiny and nearly weightless. With each cube, the weight increases in correlation with the size. By the time she is lifting the tenth cube, the weight is far more substantial. As a sensorial material, this is incredibly important. Had the cubes been made of plastic, it would not have the same effect.

Further, wooden materials are more natural, giving yet another connection to the natural world for the child. Nature is an important part of Montessori philosophy, so it is only fitting to choose materials to encourage that connection. Being a natural material, it is kinder to the environment to use wooden materials over plastic. Not only do wooden materials typically last much longer than plastic materials, but they are biodegradable.

In Your Own Home

What works for my family? This is the question I ask frequently when buying things, whether for the household or for my children. When I see other people buying something I might not want in my house, that’s ok. We all have different priorities, tastes, and needs. You might love that print of Picasso in your home but I love the relatively unknown artist’s painting from a favorite vacation spot.

What considerations do you make when buying Montessori-aligned materials?

But when will my child do math with pencil and paper?

Watching a young child use the golden bead material to complete math equations in the thousands is impressive to most people. Observers make comments such as, “Wow, I definitely was not adding numbers that large that young!” or “She’s not just doing the work, she seems to really understand what she’s doing.”

Then there are the more skeptical observers: “Ok, but how will he learn to do math traditionally, on pencil and paper?” The short answer is yes, when he is ready. Though that is not often satisfactory to a skeptical adult. Understandably so – it’s one thing to pull out your phone to do a quick calculation, but certainly not practical to whip out your set of golden beads to add those big numbers!

The goal of concrete Montessori materials is to give children a deep, sensorial experience of the subject matter. Giving them the hands on experiences ensures they will really understand what one is just as well as they can understand how much larger one thousand is. The wonder in a young child’s eyes as they first hold the heavy thousand cube is beautiful. As they move through the curriculum, this understanding stays with them.

Passage to Abstraction

Eventually a child outgrows the golden bead material. As he masters the operations with the golden beads, the materials becomes boring and tedious. To add numbers like 5,652 + 3,427 means a lot of beads, carrying heavy objects, and more cleaning up. It’s just a lot to do when you already know what 1,000 is.

Montessori Stamp Game

After this comes the Montessori stamp game. Rather than many, many beads, children have a set of square “stamps” color coded green for units, blue for tens, red for hundreds, green for thousands. On each stamp is printed either a 1, 10, 100, or 1,000. It is still somewhat concrete, but more abstract. As the child outgrows this material, things like the dot board and bead frames will come next.

Eventually, children begin to outgrow these materials as well. The final step is traditional pencil and paper math. At this point, the concept is well understood by the child. Adding large numbers is something they have probably been doing for years at this point. Some children will just say, “Oh, that makes sense,” after they receive a lesson. They have felt the difference in numbers with their hands, giving them a deeper understanding of place value. They have counted ten and carried it over to the next place, so adding that little “1” on top of the equation is logical.

And the other math?

Other math follows similar progression. Simple addition up to 20 can be counted on bead bars, with the addition strip board, and finger charts. Multiplication, division, fractions, decimals, and geometry all have hands-on, concrete materials available for the first lessons. Even concepts like algebra can be explored with manipulatives before learning more traditional methods.

But are they really ready for all this math?

To some, this may seem unnecessary. Or they see young children in preschool, kindergarten, or lower elementary working on concepts they did not learn until much older and feel the children are being pushed or forced to do work above their developmental abilities.

The best argument I have is to encourage you to observe these materials in action. Children are excited to do this work and choose it of their own free will. Children are so curious about the world and are driven to understand it better. The Montessori materials give them a concrete way to do so. When children seem to feel like they are being pushed to do more than they are ready for or want to do, Montessori guides often step back, observe, and ask questions. Sometimes a child who has seemed ready was not quite ready to move to the next step. Or maybe they’ve truly mastered it and are feeling bored, which can result in mistakes.

When I first discovered the Montessori math materials, I felt (as do many!) envious. How I wished I had been taught to do math this way. As someone who often struggled with mathematical concepts, I feel I would have grasped concepts much quicker had I been able to see how they worked. The squaring and cubing chains make sense of squared and cubed numbers. Carrying numbers makes sense when you can physically do it a few times. Fractions and decimals are quite simple when you can hold 1/2 in your hand.

What are your thoughts on the Montessori math progression?

You’re Wrong! How to Kindly Handle Learning Mistakes

Photo by George Becker on Pexels.com

Imagine you are outside with your child, admiring the beautiful flowers blooming in a garden. As you and your child come to some pretty red roses, she excitedly says, “Look! A purple flower!”

But… these are not purple flowers. There aren’t even any purple flowers nearby, that you can see. These flowers are definitely red. You have two choices. You can kindly correct your little one or you can keep it in your mind for later.

The Montessori Philosophy

In a Montessori classroom, we try to avoid correcting the child and telling them they are wrong. Maria Montessori understood children are still learning and are doing their best. Just like adults, they do not always know the right answer. When children show us they are still working on mastering a topic, we try to remember that observation. This may mean they need a refresher lesson.

In the case of the red/purple roses, I might say, “Aren’t those flowers pretty? Do you like them?” and engage her in conversation. I may try to work in color naming to the conversation. Perhaps I will notice a different red flower and point it out, saying something like, “Wow, I love this red flower! Do you see the red flower?” At home, I would probably spend more time naming colors and doing activities with colors.

This is true for most any mistake or misunderstanding. If a child is adding 2 + 2 and gets 5, I let it be. As the child continues to practice addition equations, I will try to note why he might have gotten 5. Did he simply miscount? Did he grab the wrong number of beads? I will also look for an emerging pattern. If he goes through a set of addition equations and they are all incorrect, I will make a note to go over the lesson again with the child. If there is only one mistake, I may assume it was a simple mistake and more practice is needed.

Another thing to consider is that the child may not actually be wrong! Sometimes other people are seeing things in a different way than us and it gives them a different answer. Maybe they yell, “Blue jay!” excitedly while you see a robin hopping across the yard. What you don’t immediately notice is the blue jay sitting in the branch over the swing set. Or the purple flower hiding below the red roses.

A beautiful red rose, with lovely purple flowers behind!
Photo by BENE GARDEN on Pexels.com

But shouldn’t children know when they’re incorrect?

As an adult looking to teach children – whether it is your own child or a classroom of children – we often feel pressure to correct them. If we don’t tell them the red flower is actually red, and not purple, will they believe red is called purple? Will the wrong answer become embedded in their little brains?

In all likelihood, no. When we instantly correct a child, they will have a harder time truly learning it. In many cases, we will still be spending more time giving exposure and lessons to the proper terminology and methods. Additionally, think about how many times a day a child might make a mistake as they are learning. It may be many times a day as they are learning a new skill. When children frequently hear about their mistakes, it can become discouraging. If every time they try their addition work, you point out the incorrect equations, eventually they will be resistant to addition. They may feel like they can’t do it at all.

Further, immediately correcting a child will often mean disrupting concentration. One of the goals in a Montessori environment is to encourage children to have good concentration. We allow them to do their work (and play!) independently and become absorbed in it. Stepping in to correct them interrupts and makes it more difficult for them to learn deep concentration.

Montessori Materials and the Control of Error

Most Montessori materials have a built in “control of error.” This means there is a built in function that will let the child realize independently if he has made a mistake. Puzzles fit together in a particular way, sorting materials have an equal number of items per category, counting materials have exactly the right number of objects, and so on.

If a child is counting objects to match to numbers and gets to the number 10 but has eleven objects, something has the wrong number of items. A child may be able to figure this out on her own or she may choose to ask for help. Regardless, the child will feel better than if she were told (again) she was wrong.

Here, she is spelling words with the moveable alphabet. When she got to “blot” she made “dlot.” When she flipped over that card, she immediately saw the error and corrected it. And laughed about it!

When We Do Step In

The times we step in and immediately correct a child is typically limited to two occastions.

1: They are not being safe.
2: They are using something improperly

Of course we want our children to be safe and if you feel your child is being unsafe, then it is absolutely fine to step in and correct your child. In these situations, I try to keep things calm and kind. For example, my daughter had pulled a tall stool into the middle of the room and climbed on top. I could see she was not well balanced and could get hurt if she fell. I approached her so I could catch her if needed and said, “Wow, you are up high! This is not a safe place to be up high. You can get down yourself or I will help you.” When she got down, I invited her to climb in a more appropriate location.

In a Montessori classroom, many guides to not allow children to explore materials unless they have had a lesson on how to use it. The philosophy behind this is wanting to be sure the child understands for what the material is used. This way, a child does not have an incorrect usage in mind already which can take away from later understanding and meaning.

At home, many activities we have are more open ended materials so there are not certain “right” ways to use the materials. For me, unless there is a Montessori material being used, I leave it up to our own house rules. If I think a material or toy might break, I will step in. If it is something that could lead to someone getting hurt, I will step in. But I generally try to let them explore with their creativity.

How do you handle mistakes at home? Do you find yourself correcting more often than you like?

Numbers and Counting! Where to Start?

Many toddlers can proudly count to ten, fifteen, twenty, or more. Adults are often so excited and proud of their little ones counting higher and higher. The excitement is often shared by the youngster, happily rattling off numbers whenever someone requests it.

Don’t get me wrong, rote counting is an important skill. It is a necessary step in learning more advanced math concepts. Counting to a high number may sound impressive coming from a young child’s mouth. However, rote counting does not teach children what numbers mean.

Beginning Steps

Exposure to number and counting is still the first step. In Montessori environments, adults do not explicitly teach this, however. It is worked into everyday activities. Perhaps your toddler is stacking some blocks and excitedly shows you. A great response might be, “Wow! 1, 2, 3, 4… You stacked four blocks!” Or perhaps you and your toddler decide to start hopping outside. Count the hops! Or maybe count the cups of flour she’s pouring into the bowl. There are countless (pun, sorry!) opportunities to introduce counting to toddlers.

The first milestone I look for is the child counting from one to five. I will still count higher than this, usually up to ten at this point. Once a child has started counting to five, I begin to be more intentional with math.

One to One Correspondence

After a child is confidently counting to five or higher, I start inviting her to count objects with me. To start, I keep the number to five or less. The goal is to develop one to one correspondence; that is, understanding that each object in the group is counted one time and corresponds to the number. I try to keep these activities organic for toddlers, just as when I am first introducing rote counting. Often, toddlers are excited to count along with others.

When first beginning, I expect children to count objects twice, miss objects, or say the wrong number sometimes. That’s ok! They are still learning. Generally, in Montessori, we avoid pointing out to the child the is wrong. It can be demoralizing to a child, especially if he has been working hard to do something and the adult’s response is about how he did it wrong. Instead, I observe and make note of the errors. Do we need to practice more rote counting? Or do the objects need to be better lined up to see each one in order? The error is a clue to me how to help the child as we move forward.

All By Myself!

Anyone with experience with toddlers has likely experienced a toddler announcing they want to do something, “All by myself!” Counting independently is no different. Eventually children start noticing number themselves and will happily count objects. One of the first things my younger daughter started counting independently was the dots on her step stool. It was a great thing to do while potty training. Sometimes it feels less enjoyable, like the time we had to count every single bush on the way into the doctor’s office.

Counting 1 – 5. Matching pom poms to the corresponding colors, which also match the Montessori bead bars.

At this point, she can confidently count 5 objects and she is working on counting up to ten objects. That is as high as her rote counting goes. I will count to higher numbers with her, but when she counts independently past 11, numbers start getting silly. And that’s ok!

Primary Goal

The primary goal of early math experiences in a Montessori environment is to give children a concrete understanding of number. I want to know that young children I am working with understand what they are doing. When we talk about the number five, I want them to know there are five objects.

Like the other areas of the Montessori classroom, the materials and activities focus on helping children develop understanding of what they are working with before moving onto more complicated topics.

Written Numbers

Written number recognition will come later. Some parents like to teach children this early. There is nothing wrong with this. A toddler who has learned what each numeral is will certainly enjoy finding them in the world, such as noticing the house has a number “8” on it. The problem Montessorians find is that there is no understanding tied to the number recognition; the child often has memorized what each number looks like and can recite it back.

Montessori guides typically introduce numerals later. Once a child is confidently rote counting, we look to see that she has also mastered one to one correspondence. At this point, when we introduce the numerals, there will be understanding tied to the number.

When did your child begin counting? I’d love to hear how your family chose to incorporate counting and number understanding with your children!

The Case Against “Good Job!”

For as long as I can remember, I have been reminded to not say, “Good job!” to children. It is not a meaningful comment in many cases, and children know this. Not only that, it teaches children to rely on others to measure their success! As we try to raise confident children, we can help them boost their self-confidence without giving them false confidence.

Praise feels good for everyone, and we all enjoy compliments. I am in no way advocating that we stop praising our children! Children who never hear praise will likely have lower self confidence and self esteem. Instead, experts recommend framing most praise as something that can be self-reflective for the child.

What to say instead


If you’re not sure what to say, try saying something you noticed. It might be a color or shape they drew, how fast they were running, or how focused they were.

You can ask questions. Inquire how THEY feel about what they have done, what they think about the information they have given you, or what they think the next step is. When you ask questions, your child gets two messages. First, they see you are interested in them. Second, it makes them think about what their own thoughts on the matter.

One question to avoid though is, “What is it?” No matter what your child has made, he or she likely knows exactly what it is and may feel it is obvious to everyone else. This can be true even if it is a scribble on paper. Instead, ask you child to tell you more about what they made or notice something about it. “Oh, wow, it must have been a lot of work to get those blocks to balance like that! Can you tell me more about all of this?”

Showing appreciation for you child is also beneficial. If they gave you a picture or craft, say thank you and tell them how much it means to you that they thought of you. When you see how they helped their sibling or friend, let them know how kind it was do help out. I will sometimes also ask something like, “Did it feel good to help your sister?”

And when you feel you can’t…


When you feel you are unable to devote your attention to your child to give a meaningful comment, let them know! Sometimes I set a timer and tell me daughter I would love to give her my FULL attention, but I need 5 minutes. When the timer goes off, she knows I will check in on her. When your children show you something excitedly and you just say, “Yes, that’s nice honey,” they will feel put off. They won’t see how you are busy re-reading a recipe while the pot is nearly boiling over and the oven timer is going off and the phone is ringing.

Young children don’t yet understand the passage of time. But they appreciate being told how you do want to hear from them, but you cannot give them the time. When the time comes, you will get down on their level and give them your full, undivided attention.

Some things to say…

  • I cannot look right now. I will set a timer for 5 minutes and I can give you my full attention then.
  • You seem really excited, let me put this away and then I will come see.
  • I am busy with this right now. You may wait with your hand on my hip while I finish up, so I know you need me.
  • Would you like to quickly tell me now or would you like to wait a few minutes when I can focus just on you?

I guarantee your child will appreciate being given the one-on-one attention. Not only that, it can help teach your child that we need to be respectful of others’ work. These can go both ways, also. If I see my child is engrossed in play, I will sit and watch or put my hand on her shoulder until I see she is ready to give me her attention. She feels her play is important (it is!) and she feel respected. Additionally, I will have her full attention when I tell her what I need to tell her.

How do you incorporate alternative phrases and questioning in to your interactions with your children? Is it hard to not say, “Good Job?”

“That’s not Montessori!”

Asking if something is “Montessori” or telling other parents, “That’s not Montessori!” has become a common theme of Montessori groups on social media. I like to believe everyone is well meaning, though I know it can feel otherwise. There seems to be a lot of anxiety tied to making our homes wonderfully “Montessori.” Especially when we see beautiful setups with large, open shelves and large windows overlooking a beautiful outdoor play area. And of course there is never an out of play toy or activity!

After seeing some lovely photos and reading about some great activities, you decide to try something new yourself. Looking for confidence, you post a photo to the Montessori group you belong to and some kind person informs you that, “This is not Montessori.”

I’ve been there – and I was teaching in Montessori classrooms well before I had children! It is disheartening. And if we are looking at strict Montessori, that person may be right.

Almost nothing is going “right” in this photo! There is a table work on the floor, not even on the rug. She has ALL the insets, not just one set. I could go on…

Montessori Home vs. Montessori School

Something I try to keep in mind for myself and when speaking with other parents, there is a big different between my home expectations and the expectations I have in my classroom. This is true whether we are talking about a Montessori aligned home environment or a Montessori based homeschool.

The materials are the biggest difference in home versus classroom. In a classroom, I want to have high quality materials, as I know many, many children will be using them through the years. Any materials we have in the classroom, if not specifically Montessori, still need to be close-ended and have other key features of a Montessori material. I will also prepare many extra activities to accommodate different interests of many children, such as a yoga corner or available sewing materials.

At home is different. For one, we have a mix of open- and close-ended materials available for our children. (See my post on the differences and benefits of each here!) We also use non-Montessori materials or printed versions of certain materials. They may not be as nice as the beautiful wooden ones, but they still help my kids learn things.

How did we get here?

When you go through Montessori training, you learn there are very specific ways of acting, using materials, and arranging the classroom. The materials were built to certain specifications. Maria Montessori found specific ways to do many things in the classroom- and they work! While no two Montessori classrooms will look the same, and different teachers will still teach a little differently, there are many similarities. Often a child transitioning from one Montessori school to another can easily transition due to so many familiarities.

As more and more people learn about the Montessori method, more people are incorporating it into their homes. This makes us Montessorians so happy! The philosophy behind Montessori – respect of the child, kind and firm discipline, encouraging independence, following and supporting a child’s interests- are the best ways to incorporate Montessori at home.

At Home

When we make our own activities or buy materials, they do not have to replicate Montessori materials! That beautiful nesting, stacking rainbow you bought is not a Montessori material or toy. I am sure a well meaning person has informed you of this while you showed it off on your Montessori shelf. And the recommendations of only photos on the wall, rather than artwork, I would not say is Montessori aligned. (That may be a post for another day!) I am sure it’s tempting to inform people of their “mistakes” because many of us know how strict about things Montessori can be.

At home, let’s try to lighten up a bit, take a deep breath. Rather than worry about whether or not something is “Montessori,” or feel badly, think about why you have that activity for your child. Is is because…

  • Your children are learning something new or interesting from it?
  • Your child can practice a needed skill?
  • You want to expose your child to something new?
  • Your child has expressed or shown an interest in the material/toy/subject area?
  • Something else?

Final Thoughts…

You don’t need to have only wooden materials and toys for your child, nor do you need genuine Montessori materials. Open ended toys and materials are not Montessori, but they are wonderful additions to your home and homeschool environments. Themed shelves are not traditionally Montessori, but I have found they work well for home especially. Your family and child may had different needs, interests, and abilities and this should all be accounted for when designing your home.

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